"Good" emotions & "Bad" Emotions: What are they telling me?

As Christians, how much "weight" should emotions have in our lives?

When I was a younger Christian I had a very negative view about my emotions that was almost equal to the idea of "my emotions were evil" or something crazy like that.

Why in the world would I believe this?

Partly because some of the teaching that I received from various Christians WAY back then...MANY years ago...was slanted in a way that taught “our emotions are not good” or “don’t trust them”, etc. 

Although there is some truth to the idea of not relying on your emotions fully, it is not accurate to say they are bad or evil.

I’ll explain that idea more in a bit.

In my counseling office, emotions, and how my clients can navigate and process these valuable gifts, are a regular focus for us.

Yes, you read that right… I said gifts.

You might think that is debatable, but I want to show you how I know this is true.

So let’s consider this…

Who is our model? …our Example all things that “pertain to life and godliness?” Who are we patterned after? WHO do we resemble?

The Bible says that we were “made in the likeness and image of God.”

Genesis 1.26 says, “Then God said, Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness…”

Your ability to think, process information, dream, create, communicate, laugh, cry, express anger, your personality and how you are “wired” is all because you were created in the likeness and image of God.   

For those that need to see this in scripture, and I hear you because I am a “Word girl”, here are a few scriptures that express these characteristics of God.

TO THINK AND PROCESS THOUGHTS AND INFORMATION

Isaiah 1:18 - “Come, let us reason together” is an invitation from God for conversation and for reasoned discussion in accordance with the ultimate standard, His Word.

LAUGHTER

Psalm 2.4 - “He who sits in the heavens laughs…” God laughs at some of man’s plans as a father may laugh while watching his toddler child put forth great effort to accomplish something, but because of the child’s lack of understanding and strength the plans come to nothing.  Just as a child is in great need of learning so many things, we must go to God to receive more and more wisdom.

Also Jesus... being the expressed image of God...we can see the essence in scripture His joy and laughter....even though scripture does not explicitly say Jesus laughed it seems like common sense to believe this.  Jesus loved being with the children and they wanted to be with Him.  Children are drawn to people who are peaceful, joyful, and personable and they recoil from people who are uber serious and creepy.

Also, considering that God's Word is full of references regarding joy and the fact that scripture states that "Jesus was the Word made flesh." (John 1.14) Again, this would lead one to know that Jesus was and is joyful.

DREAMING AND CREATING

In Genesis chapter 1, you see the themes of God dreaming and creating over and over.

SADDNESS OR MOURNING

In John 11.35 we are told that “Jesus wept” after finding out that his friend Lazarus died.

ANGER

In the Gospels, we see Jesus turning over the tables of the money changers and merchants.  They were exploiting the people who had come to worship God and were taking advantage of the poor.  Jesus states that they have made it into a “house of thieves” referring to how the people were being robbed and exploited while trying to purchase things that aided them in their worship of God.

Ephesians 4.26 tells us to “be angry and do not sin.”  Our anger is needed and valid, but it should never be used to hurt others. 

A good way to make sure our anger is helpful to us and others is to run it through the “filter" of I Corinthians 13.4-8 which says:

“Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous;

Love does not brag, it is not arrogant.

It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit;

It is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,

It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

It keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails…”

This scripture describes LOVE…the God-kind of love…not a love that is like a crush or romantic feelings about someone.  It is the pure, unconditional love of God. This scripture (and others) helps us to identify what God’s love looks like for us and toward others.

Okay…so now that we have established that emotions are not evil, because we see them demonstrated by God many times in scripture…and this is just a small sampling…let’s talk about their purpose.

EMOTIONS - WHAT ARE THEIR PURPOSE?

Our brains are so intricate and amazing!

There is a part of our brain that sometimes is referred to as our emotion core.  God made this part of our brain to only be a blessing to us.  The emotions of joy, love, connection, excitement, etc. were all given to us by God.    

The ones that we consider “negative” had to come into the scene a bit later.

We will get to that…

When a sweet or hilarious memory comes up, it is almost as though you are back in that moment when that event happened.  A smile may come across your face or you may giggle a little as you begin to relive that memory.  The joy, peace, and fulfillment that you felt when that event originally took place comes rushing back to you.

What a gift to feel that all over again!

This was the original plan of God for us regarding emotions and memories…to enjoy again and again the beautiful moments of life and to look forward to more of the same.

Emotions were created by God to bless our lives while we lived on this planet.  It was supposed to look just like Heaven.

Always.

Unfortunately, and you probably already know this, but Adam and Eve took an alternate way from the loving and beautiful, life-giving path that God had for mankind.  This caused all of mankind and the earth to enter into a “fallen” state, and we were all separated from God.  Sin, death, destruction, and pain entered the world.

This is why Jesus came to the earth to be the sacrificial Lamb of God and to make the ultimate payment for all of our sin so that we can be restored fully (spirit, soul, and body) to God again.

After the fall, emotions like fear, sadness, and anger had to come on the scene.

Why?

For one, it was a natural result of the sinful and fallen world we are all apart of now. Also, these emotions were necessary in order for our brains to process very difficult things. Such as the lack of good things we needed, but we did not get (trauma A) like healthy connection, nurture from a parent, acceptance, and love at an early age, AND to process the negative or bad things that have happened to us (trauma B).

We have all encountered trauma in some form and to some degree such as abuse, rejection, betrayal, neglect, and severe disappointment.

Our brain’s job is to help us survive and to thrive in this fallen world.  God made our brains to help us in MANY WAYS including processing and storing painful events.

If He had not created our brains in this way, the painful events could be so overwhelming that it could kill us. He gave us a brain that is always working to maintain something called “homeostasis.”

In a nutshell, “homeostasis” keeps everything in balance in order to support life.   

What is super important for us to know and understand is that although God made our brains to help us process and store painful events with painful emotions, this was only until we can get to Him to release this pain.  It is NOT His will that we have to suffer all of our lives with heavy emotional pain.

EMOTIONS ARE GOOD INDICATORS… NOT GOOD LEADERS OR DECISION MAKERS

Have you ever been driving down the road and a little thing lights up on your vehicle’s dashboard?

My first reaction goes something like…well, let’s just say it looks and feels like a low-grade panic.

I am not sure why exactly, because the indicator is not bad.

The indicator is giving me information that something is not quite right with my car, and I need to check it out in order for it to continue working properly.

What we call “negative” emotions are very similar to those indicators.    

They are NOT bad in and of themselves.  They are simply indicators that a part of our heart or mind needs some help.

For instance, if an injustice such as physical assault or abuse has happened to someone, then anger or sadness or fear would be a very appropriate emotion to have about that event.

Someone needs to be angry about that event!

Yes! Absolutely!

There are many scriptures in the Bible that even tell us that injustice angers God.  (Proverbs 6.17, Proverbs 17.15; Psalm 7.11)

Since we live in this fallen world, our brains, by God’s mercy, were designed to process and hold those emotions instead of it killing us, but remember God wants to heal and can heal that pain.   

Another example might be if you were severely betrayed by someone in the past and because of that you are tempted to never trust anyone ever again.  God wants to heal that emotional pain, but also His Word teaches us how to discern whether people are trustworthy regarding future relationships.

Remember, emotions are good indicators…not good leaders or decision makers.

The Lord created us to live in healthy community.  The Word of God says, “do not forsake the gathering of the saints.”  Keep getting together and loving each other in the Lord as much as possible. We are designed for healthy connection.

So to become a hermit or to never be around people again is not His best for us.  Even though it seems like a “safe thing to do”, it will actually work against us and can cause more harm than good.

This is why we say that emotions are valid and helpful, but they can not lead our lives in a healthy or godly way.  This is true for both positive or “negative” emotions.    

The Bible says that, “those who are being led (directed) by the Spirit of God, these are the sons and daughters of God.” (Romans 8.14)   In other words, God wants to lead us in all the decisions that we make in our lives.  He is our Leader, not our emotions.

Do we all do this perfectly?

Nope!

However, we can keep leaning into what God is directing us to do by His Spirit which will always be in agreement with His Word.

Get to know His Word.

He and His Word are ONE.

He loves YOU so much, and He wants His abundant, extravagant heart to overflow into your life.

As a Christian counselor, I have the honor of working with people to help them release stuck emotion from painful past events.

Please reach out for more information.

Much love and blessings to YOU!

Christy

Mercy & Truth Biblical Counseling